Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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