I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
