She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize