just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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