Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
