Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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