My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
