This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
