it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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