I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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