I can text with my tongue
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize