Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Dick very happy bro
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
