another moral hangover. fuck.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
