i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
