I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
