end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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