so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
