It's Friday. Sex?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
