omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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