also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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