there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize