goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
