He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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