Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
