i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I want to fling myself into the sun
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
