I think I am morally bankrupt
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
