grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
