No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
