Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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