Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
