I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
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If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize