omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
