dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Someone signed my nipple.
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