Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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