actually, I'm a sock model
grandma shit on top of the toilet
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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