If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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