He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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