there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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