never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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