So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
