People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
