yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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