SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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