There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
