walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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