So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
