i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
