when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
how does that bad decision feel?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
