I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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