sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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