Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize