hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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