i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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