he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize