Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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