We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
