So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize