I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
